How I’m Doing After Open-Heart Surgery

I wanted to write this post for a couple of reasons.  First, I wanted to give an update on my recovery and to thank all of you for your prayers and words of encouragement.  As I write this today, it has been two weeks since my surgery.  Actually, I had to be taken back to surgery early the following day to stop some internal bleeding.  I think I’m progressing well for having gone through two surgeries.  I’m walking a mile or more daily and getting a little stronger with each day.  Secondly, I wanted to encourage you in whatever struggles you may be facing today.  I may not know what your specific struggles are, but I do know that we all have them.

Almost two years ago, I was diagnosed with aortic valve problems and was told that I would have to have open-heart surgery and valve replacement.  In the early days after my initial diagnosis, I believed that I would be healed of this problem without open-heart surgery.  Then about seven months ago, atrial-fibrillation became a frequent issue and other problems began affecting me.  I went through a time where I began to think more like a victim than a victor.  Thoughts like, “why did this happen to me?  Why can’t I be normal?  Why will my healing not manifest?” were constant.  Over my thirty years of ministry, I have prayed for many people with different kinds of illnesses and I have witnessed their healing miraculously manifest in their bodies.  I have seen people healed of stage 4 cancer, tumors that were there one day and gone completely the next day.  Yet, my symptoms of heart problems would not cease, even though I had prayed for myself and received prayer many times.  I understand how easy it is for us to get stalled out on the question “why”.    We don’t understand why our healing or deliverance does not come as we would like.  Our illness or problem is no excuse to abandon our faith, it’s an invitation to embrace it.

Lessons I’m Learning Through This Journey

1. God is our Healer. Sometimes God’s healing comes as an instant miracle (I still believe in miracles), and sometimes His healing will manifest as a gradual process.  God is the giver of medical science and often uses this to bring about our healing.
2. Don’t Waste Your Problem. I know that God does not make us sick or even “allow us to have disease” in order to teach us a lesson.  God did not give me a bad aortic heart valve or will for me to have it.  All disease is evil, and God has made provision for our healing through Jesus Christ on the cross.  By whose stripes you were healed (1 Peter 2:24).  What do I mean, “don’t waste your problem”?  Our problems are an opportunity that won’t last.  Even though God is not the author of our problem, it provides a stage from which to glorify God.  In this life we have the opportunity to praise God, to continue on in faith, even in the face of adversity.  This takes an act of our will, it is a decision that we make that regardless of our circumstances, we will worship God our Father.  Once I am in heaven, I will no longer have this “platform” to worship Him from, I can now offer the sacrifice of praise that will one day be impossible for me to give.
3. Don’t Think Like a Victim. This is not about me fighting for victory, it’s about fighting from victory. Jesus Christ has already won the victory for me.  It’s for me to stand in the faith of His victory and to remember that my victory is provided for me even when it appears impossible.  Victim thinking robs us of the energy we need to focus on Jesus.  I remember when I first was diagnosed, I asked my cardiologist, how long do you think I’ve had this problem, when did this develop?  He replied, “none of that really matters, we must focus on getting you better”.   We spend more time trying to figure out why we have the problem instead of looking to God for the answer to our problem.  Jesus ’disciples upon seeing a person that was born blind asked Him, “Rabbi, who sinned: this man or his parents, causing him to be born blind?” Jesus said, “You’re asking the wrong question. You’re looking for someone to blame. There is no such cause-effect here. Look instead for what God can do (John 9:2-3 MSG).  Like the disciples, we ask the wrong question and try to blame something or someone for our problem.  Stop trying to blame someone for the problem, and instead look to God for the answer!  God is not the one making you sick, depressed, sad, or poor!  He did not cause your marriage to fail, your kids to rebel, or your company to fire you.  This is not Heaven.  We live on a fallen planet, but God through His Grace has provided everything that we would ever need through the Cross of Jesus Christ.   If pain occurs, it is not my Father’s will.  A life consecrated to God means that no matter what happens to me that is outside God’s will for my life, He can make all things work together for good to those who love him.
4. God is Good. The bedrock of my faith is that God is love, that God is good.  Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.  (James 1:17) My theology is still: God good, devil bad.  If it is good, it is from God.  If it’s bad, it’s not from my Father.  Maybe you came to God because of something bad or painful in your life that overwhelmed you and caused you to turn to Him for help.  That pain or circumstance, even though because of it you came to the Lord, was not from Him, regardless of the outcome.  It was your faith that you placed in His Grace that turned your life around, not the problem.
5. Get busy living! In the movie “Shawshank Redemption”, Andy says to his friend Red as they sit in the prison yard, “It comes down to one simple decision.  Either get busy living or get busy dying.”  Through this open-heart surgery and hospitalization, I’ve been reminded again the blessing of living, of life’s simple pleasures.  The ability to go on a walk, to enjoy a meal, to take a shower, to drive a vehicle, to move without pain.  If you are reading this then you are alive, someday you will die.  Every living person can either move their life in a positive direction (“get busy living”) or not (“get busy dying”).  That simple choice makes all the difference.  God encourages us to choose life.  I choose Jesus, I choose Life!

The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly. John 10:10 (NKJV)